MIA’S SPACE: Annie and Christopher’s Space
I assigned this column to Mia’s sister and brother for the sibling issue. I asked them two questions: “What was it like growing up with Mia?” And, “What are you most concerned about for her future and yours with her?”
Annie wrote, “Growing up with Mia was a bunch of silliness. She made everything lighthearted and fun. Mia’s personality brought out the best personality in me. I could be outspoken and real with her. It was interesting to see how she perceived life and how it compared to my perceptions. And she could be so stubborn. When we were younger, she would have tantrums in public places. I could have looked at it with more of a sense of humor, but at the time it was embarrassing. I wanted her to understand that it embarrassed me, but she was always going to do her own thing in the end.
I’m concerned about her health and well-being. If she needs to come and live with me one day, my concern is that we can co-exist in our living space and that she’ll listen to me when it comes to the serious stuff.”
Christopher added, “We just treated her like a sister, not someone ‘special.’ We always thought she was smarter than people gave her credit for. She really knows people and can manipulate them to get what she wants. When I got older, having lived with her and knowing her friends helped me broaden my outlook on other kids who had disabilities or who were socially awkward. Knowing her helped me not to judge people and to be more understanding.
I worry about losing her. I’m worried about her health or if something happened to our mom, would she get everything she needs? She needs to be around family. Getting her set up where she lives now was hard. Annie and I would do it somewhere else if we had to but we know it wasn’t easy.”
I’d like to add that Mia was the “big sister,” a position she reveled in. I have many pictures with her arm protectively around her younger brother and sister, getting them to look at the camera, to listen to me, follow. And they expected the same privileges and sanctions for her, as they would have for any other sibling.
Truth be told, I was the softy who caved and let her get away with things, which Annie and Christopher resented. Guilty as charged. God help me, I was known to have said, “You will both grow up, move away from home and have lives independent of your Dad and me, and Mia will still be here with us. In the larger scheme of things, who gets to sit in the front seat of the car is a small thing.”
She still always claims the front seat when we travel together. But in contrast to my prediction, Mia is setting an example for a life well-lived, in her own home, with lots of friends, and a great job, like any other older sibling might do, and this is as it should be.
Read more from the winter 2016 edition of Making A Difference here:
